2. The one where I had a pain in my boob during a pandemic

Picture it: March 2020, I was sent home from work for 'two weeks', living in a marriage that was on its last legs, and mentally and emotionally preparing for my son's high school graduation and impending  transition to college. The world had stopped but my cortisol production was in overdrive.

So when my left boob started to ache at night, I was kind of busy with anxiety and overthinking. I acknowledged it, figuratively shrugged and forgot about it until the next time it ached.

Ironically, I was risk adverse to the nth degree during the early stages of the pandemic. I only left the house for groceries and spend time with a friend outdoors who was also overly cautious.

No hair appointments, dental appointments, visits to my parents and certainly no mammogram. 

I was 'lucky' to have my first mammogram at the ripe old age of 36. My boobs have always been attention seekers - large from the 6th grade, on what has mostly been a petite frame, has meant jokes about bodacious tatas and no admittance into the 'itty bitty titty committee'. 

So when  they were feeling lumpy (lumpier) I went to my ob and she scheduled a mammogram and an ultrasound. Back in 2008 everything was fine: just had fibrocystic tissue (lumpy). and that was the end of that for a few years.

Cut to my 40s and I went religiously (mostly) every year for my check up. All good.

So by the time my ob/gyn appointment rolled around in July 2021, it has been two years since anyone had taken a look under the hood. The pain in my boob was occurring almost nightly and had taken up more space. I mentioned it to my doctor and she gave extra consideration to that spot during her exam.

Since I needed a mammogram anyway, she made sure it was sooner rather than later. All the while I am thinking 'well doctor google said pain is rarely associated with anything serious, I am sure it is fine.'  and my lumpy history made me even less concerned that it would be anything worth talking about (let alone blog worthy a year later).

Josh and I went to Venice: five days of the best time of our lives and the day after we got back, I went for my mammogram.

Now believe this or not but any great vacation  I am lucky to have requires payment on my behalf to the universe: dead dog, exploding hot water heater, car wreck. The better the vacation the steeper the cosmic bill. Venice was, is and will always be the best vacation ever. The cost? One boob and three lymph nodes.

Next time on Kris vs. Cancer:  The One Where Everyone Stopped Making Eye Contact