Kris vs. Cancer

  Last time we left off with me sharing what was going on with my boss. And how awesome he is. The folks I needed to tell next were the besties, the ride or dies. The ones who had already supported me through so much.  When I said these phone calls were tough, they were in the sense that I felt guilty to lean on them again. If you knew the support and love they provided me during the previous two years, well.... let's just say I am the luckiest girl in the world to have these friends.  I always say I would rather have four quarters than 100 pennies.  First up was Melissa: the newest of the quarters, she probably knows me better than anyone. She knows where the bodies are buried, and was privy to the unvarnished 'in the moment' BS I tolerated at the end of my marriage. Melissa is a legend in the Hallowell family for her colorful sayings and loving heart. Whether she likes it or not, she in an honorary member. Our preferred communication style is texting. We occasional...

 Last week we left off with me having the BRACA gene test. A theme I am seeing as I recollect all that happened is that there was a lot of waiting. In retrospect it was three months from mammogram to mastectomy (RIP Lefty). But man... those three months felt like forever. A rollercoaster of self pity, anger, uncertainty, questions, confusion and at the end the best care a girl could hope for. From the medical professionals and my tribe. So back to the BRACA: As promised the results arrived in the mail and everything was clear. A sigh of relief that we weren't going to have to think through that path (I mean... I had obsessively thought about every eventual outcome but I didn't need to spend anymore time on this topic. There were plenty of other things to keep me awake at night). Next up was the appointment with the surgeon. I believe this is the point where my mom was no longer accepting 'i'm fine' as an answer and started attending all appointments with me.  Which ...

Last time we left off with me having my biopsy (or as I like to think of it the day that nasty radiologist stuck a giant needle in my boob).   That was on a Wednesday.  I expected a notification to pop up in my e-chart in the days that followed. Nothing, and finally six days later I heard from the surgical nurse.   As promised, she called to give me the results.  I have no idea how she circumnativagated the direct to e-chart process because that was the only time an actual person gave me any results (oh just wait...) but she did.  And the results were....   Not very helpful.   Notes I took from that conversation:   9/7  no cancer found but atypical cells  don't know if sample caught it still want to remove the lump and test it for cancer  will see if can perform BRACA blood test  scheduled appt with surgeon   So let me break all of that down:  Atypical cells - we are headed straight into ...

Last week we left off with my mammogram results delivered via e-chart.  Assume in the immediate aftermath of that information, I went back to my trusted medical source Doctor Google. Here is what he had to say: The most significant features that indicate whether a mass is benign or malignant are its shape and margins (Figure 36f-4). The shape can be round, oval, lobular, or irregular. Circumscribed oval and round masses are usually benign.  An irregular shape suggests a greater likelihood of malignancy . Oh shit . I really started to feel sorry for myself, and that is not usually I spot where I spend much time. But damn, I had gone through a divorce (not pleasant, IYKYK), sold our house of 17 years, moved out on my own for the first time since my 20s. And had started to lose weight and find myself. I had dared to open the door to the next chapter, peer around the corner (all the puppies and rainbows and bad decisions that await!!) and promptly had the door slammed in my face. ...