8. The One with the Lumpectomy

 


Last time we left off with the amazing friends and their reaction to the news.


After that it was back to overthinking the next step in the process: The Lumpectomy


On Monday September 27th I was scheduled for the procedure. It was a day surgery with light sedation. 

This would be the first time the surgeon got her hands on Lefty (RIP Lefty).

I arrived at the hospital, my mom drove me and thanks to ongoing COVID guidance she could not stay with me. 

Which was a blessing and a curse. If I was going to have a meltdown better she not be there but I also might need the support.

As it turns out, I had a chance to meet that Radiologist again (her with the impeccable bedside manner and empathetic view of her patients... Sarcasm for those of you that just joined us).

The first step in the procedure was to place two guide wires into the boob. A literal X Marks the Spot for the surgeon to be able to find what she is looking for.

This was as weird as it sounds. Luckily the wires were not painful unlike the biopsy.

 But again the boob squisher was needed to make sure the wires were in the right spot. That was fun. Same tech, still not looking me in the eye.

 And I kind of wanted to say 'look lady, we are here and apparently you are going to have to continue to squish so can we please go back to being breezy?’

but I didn't. Because I didn't know WHY she was acting this way. 

Of all the lessons I have learned from the shitty things in life; The fact that you never truly know what someone is going through is the biggest one. The outward appearance I had meant that no one suspected anything was wrong.

I liken myself to a duck: swimming effortlessly across the water but paddling like hell just below the surface.


So guide wires in place, walked back to the wheel chair to go back to the surgery center with my left arm elevated because I had wires hanging out the side of me.

Google it if you want to get an idea. 

Back in my bed in the surgery center the nurse comes in. Seems like a nice enough fella. We need to put the IV in the right hand because the surgery was on the left (RIP Lefty) .

He pulls out this little contraption and explains it will help him find the vein to put the IV in.

OK.... for the record I am translucent. My college boyfriend nicknamed me Chez Whitey because you can pretty much see all my veins through my skin.

But if the rookie nurse needed that, have at it. Unfortunately the little contraption was not all that accurate and he poked and missed three times. 

I finally said "can you try it the old fashion way? You can literally see the vein... it is right here."

At that moment a more experienced nurse was walking by and intervened. No contraption needed she just slid the needle right in, smooth as silk.

After a period of time, which I spent staring at the wall. I couldn't even distract myself with Instagram i was so up in  my own head. Not nervous but more "How in the fuck did I get here??" 


The surgeon came in. Asked how I was doing, how was I feeling. And then  wrote all over my left side circling between the guide wires and wrote THIS SIDE

Alarming and comforting all at the same time.

She said I would be in twilight sedation and wouldn't remember anything. 

The anesthesiologist came in and promised she would knock me out. Cool beans that is all I could ask for. 

After a period of time they come to get me and wheeled me back to the operating room. Put me in position, lower my head, the usual cold sterile bright room that is somehow intimidating.

The anesthesiologist gives me a dose has me count back from 10 and by seven I am out. 


I wake up still in the operating room. 

Wait 

Wait 

Wait


I feel that. Why can I feel that!?! 

I finally find my voice after a few seconds (which felt like an hour)

I am awake 

I can feel that

I feel the anesthesiologist move quickly and I am back under. 

That is something I never want to experience again.  


The next time I come to I am in recovery. 

I remember what happened but not how I felt or what went on:

Everything went well they said. 

You need to drink this juice and then you can go home. 

They called my mom and she meets me outside helping me into the car. 

The extra pump of anesthesia means I fall asleep again as soon as I am home


Pain meds have been supplied but were not needed. A few Tylenol and lots of sleep are usually all I need. And in this case it was no different.

Also, when someone says 'don't over do it' what the hell does that actually mean? How can I know I overdid it unless I actually do overdo it?

I was sore but not in pain. I am left handed but have no mobility in my left arm. 

I keep my arm close to my body and use my right hand. 

The incision was made in a discreet way and I am hopeful it will not be visible once it heals. (Spoiler alert - it is not visible. It blends right in to the nipple).  

Bruises form around the side of Lefty (RIP Lefty) as the days go by but no pain with those (please see Chez Whitey reference earlier. In addition to being transparent I also bruise easily).


I was told I can expect results in a week. They will call  me (or that handy dandy echart will spell it out in black and white).

Turns out to be a bit longer than that. 


The wait begins again. 


Next time on Kris vs. Cancer: The one with the Cancer

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